I Learned Something Today: Animal Crossing

I thought I was careful when I chose a remote but close-knit rural town to settle down in. Moving is scary enough when you don’t know anyone, but now I’m thinking remote towns should are that way for a reason as I learned the lessons of Animal Crossing.

Animal Crossing

The Lessons of Animal Crossing

  1. Your landlord does not have your best interests in mind
  2. Neighbors don’t give gifts, they give hand me downs
  3. Friends will use you for fruit
  4. Moles give the worst lectures

Your landlord does not have your best interests in mind

I learned something today. I’m such a sucker. Seriously, you take one favor from a stranger and he will hold it over you for the rest of your life if you aren’t careful. I wasn’t careful, I took a favor that involved making Tom my landlord. No matter how hard I work, I just can’t shake the guy. It seems like every time I’m just about to get out of debt, Tom comes in and has this great new idea for the place that I can’t live without. Then, I’m right back in the same spot spending all of my damn bells just to pay him back. The guy is a helluva salesman, but do I really need to paint my roof a third time? Yes, yes I do. Thanks, Animal Crossing.

Tom Nook's

The devil works here.

Neighbors don’t give gifts, they give hand me downs

I learned something today. Everyone in town seemed friendly enough at first. They were all a bit quirky with their weird sayings and the fact that none of them seemed to have jobs and just wandered around in their yards all day. I came to find out neighbors like that are just trying to lure you in to get to do mundane tasks for them. I found myself sprinting back and forth across town to deliver messages and trinkets. After just one favor, each of these folks thought I was his best friend and would get ticked off at me if I didn’t see or write him every day. “Why would I write you if you don’t seem to understand or respond to anything I say?” After a while I was just going through the motions of being their delivery boy just so they wouldn’t get upset. I thought I had a break through when a few of them thanked me and gave me gifts for my trouble. Of course, none of the gifts matched anything in my home or were even close to something I wanted. I came to find out they were just dumping their unwanted items on me. These people don’t give a shit about me. Thanks, Animal Crossing.

Friends will use you for fruit

I learned something today. As I was getting nowhere with the locals, I finally turned to asking my existing friends to come visit. I honestly just needed the company and some sense of my past life so I knew I wasn’t going crazy in this town. I should have suspected something was up at their eagerness to come over. Every friend was the same. They’d arrive in my town and that’s the last I’d see of them. They’d immediately run off and go hang out with those weirdos in town. I’d just get annoyed and go to bed. Then the strangest thing would happen, I’d wake up the next day and go outside to find that all of the fruit on all of the trees had vanished. My friends are selfish thieves.  Thanks, Animal Crossing.

Animal Crossing Friends

You are all jerks.

Moles give the worst lectures

I learned something today. I went into a deep depression. I’d move out of this hell if Tom didn’t have me by the balls. Needless to say I had some dark nights. I probably shouldn’t have been walking around town with an axe either, but those empty trees were getting to me and they needed to come down. After chopping down a hundred or so trees I wore myself out and collapsed. I didn’t want to go home because when I see my front door all I see is Tom’s stupid face. I couldn’t deal with it. The next day, I woke up in my house completely confused. I went outside and saw that the trees around my home were still standing. As I was trying to figure what had happened an angry mole burst out of the ground at my feet. He start screaming at me for my behavior. While early on he had made his point that I shouldn’t be so careless, he continued to talk and pile on the guilt. The only good thing that came out of it was that I found someone in town to hate more than Tom. I’ve got to get out of here. Thanks, Animal Crossing.

Conclusion

Do your research. Don’t just get away to get away because there may be no way to go home once you have left. As small as the world has gotten, a town can still suck you in to its way of life and trap you in its world before you realize what has happened. Be careful who you trust and never owe anything to anyone. Thanks, video games.

I Learned Something Today – Who says that video games can’t teach you life skills? Sure they may get you put in prison or banished from society, but they are skills nonetheless. We take an over-the-top look at some of the potential applications of what video games have taught us.

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Giant Bomb (images)

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