Stop Making Movies Based Off of Video Games

Everybody who got the least bit excited about the Resident Evil 6 trailer more than likely got less excited after viewing the trailer for Resident Evil Retribution the next day. To say it looked campy would be an understatement; the movie looks horrible and the folks behind those films have apparently forgotten that at its core, Resident Evil is about horror. I’d love to say that this was an isolated incident, but game to film adaptations rarely turn out to be decent products. I know, I know, preaching to the choir.

Do you Remember the Time?

Back when video games were fare for miscreants and super geeks, the chance to have a beloved franchise splashed across the silver screen was an exciting prospect. Finally, non-gamers would get an opportunity to see the storylines and characters that we loved so much. Not that we thought we’d suddenly find a host of these individuals migrate towards our favorite hobby but perhaps they would better understand what gobbled up so much of our attention. The Super Mario Brothers Movie came out, and validated the stereotype that gamers really liked weird crap even though those same gamers were probably thinking to themselves “What the f*** is this?”

It’s not the fact that SMB was just a bad movie (which it was), it was that the filmmakers completely missed the point and honestly picked a game that would be better suited as an animated feature or cartoon series (which, incidentally, it was). Sure, the characters were there and some semblance of a save-the-princess plot was hidden underneath the cyberpunk dystopia, but a game like Super Mario Brothers is not successful because of a few individual elements but because of the sum of the whole that is Mario and Luigi’s adventure through the Mushroom Kingdom. What if movie producers followed the same formula when making a 24 movie, but instead of Jack Bauer doing his usual Jack Bauer routine, he was on a spaceship and his usual squad was replaced by muppets?

Not a tight fit

I’m not suggesting that games are better than movies or vice versa, but the ways in which stories or action are laid out separates the two in a way that makes crossover catastrophic. There’s a certain campiness inherent to games, similar to that found in comics and cartoons, that makes fascinating characters and concepts laughable when illustrated with live actors or locations. On the flipside, movies make for crappy games because a movie is straight forward and only needs to keep someone’s attention for a few hours. Sure, these elements can be altered or removed entirely, but then what’s the point of even calling a movie Super Mario Brothers or Resident Evil when you’ve only got a semblance of what it was in-game form.

The impressions I get from these adaptations is not just what most see as a “let’s make a quick buck” mentality as much as it’s a sign of utter disrespect from movie writers towards those that create stories and characters for games. If it was the quick buck mentality, then wouldn’t it be far easier to take a game like Resident Evil or Alone in the Dark and just translate it scene by scene? Obviously the acting needs to be touched up (sorry Barry Gjerde) and a few plot holes tied up (or not) and boom, a great story introduced to a new audience. Instead, like most pretentious people who feel their experience in the original medium gives them the final vote, these easy adaptations are torn to pieces while a Christopher Walken like character screams “More cowbell” in the background, though instead of cowbell, it’s wire fights or slow-motion, 360 degree shots of people kicking things.

Where’s the vengeance?

You’d think someone who had invested their time in a game would kick down the door and demand a rewrite or sabotage the film process in some way. I know that’s a bit romantic, but as someone who has been working on a book for years, I can’t fathom allowing my characters and plots to be exploited. They’re like children, only more exciting to write about (sorry Facebook moms). Unfortunately, the game industry is really excited about its new popularity, kind of like the shy high school girl who loses weight and grows tits over the summer. In all reality, a slow and steady understanding of this new found popularity would insure that she stays true to herself while also benefiting from the attention, but when you start getting invited to the best parties and the varsity quarterback wants to finger you, it’s difficult to stay grounded.

Don’t get me wrong, without dollars and exposure, a product has no way of seeing the light of day. Additionally, I understand that this whole idea of mass marketing involves products being introduced through a variety of media, but what’s the point if that approach waters down your product or discredits it in some way? I think there comes a point that those in the entertainment industry need to feel comfortable with the ceiling of success that a product has as opposed to drowning it a swamp of derivatives. I understand that making money equates to pimping your wares, but hasn’t Apple proven that you can be just as successful consistently producing a great product as opposed to over producing a really crappy one? Sure, people would probably buy an Apple Panini maker, but the Apple name’s longevity would take a hit with it’s core demographic (cult), the same people who happen to support brands and products when popular culture moves on to something new. On the same token, while a Panini maker does run on electricity, Apple doesn’t need to cram its name onto the front of one simply because it has an element in common with its other products. Games and movies both have characters, stories, etc but so do cartoons, comics, books and action figures.

Can’t get no respect

Honestly, I’m at the point that I think that the very fact that people feel the need for these movies to be made is disrespect to games that goes beyond the idea of screwing up foundational elements or whoring them to the point of saturation (bad mental image by the way). If something you see advertised on TV or the internet appeals to you, you need to pursue the avenue that it is originally presented instead of being lazy and waiting for it to be made into the medium you’re most comfortable with. Games are pretty popular, folks, so those of you that rely on trends or popular opinion can rest assured that spending time with a game won’t cast you into the pits of social non-acceptance. Gamers don’t wait around for television shows, books and movies to be made into games, why is it okay in reverse?

I’m not stupid, I understand a franchise can cast a wide net and should expand to other mediums in addition to expanding their mythologies or characters, but only when and where it makes sense. If you really want to make a movie about a game, why not start with making a sequel or do everyone a favor and just flush your huge budget down the toilet because at the end of the day, that’s more than likely what’s going to happen anyway.

Uwe Boll was not harmed in the writing of this editorial because I’m afraid I’d have to box with him (though I think I’d actually win)

Sources

IMDB
Giant Bomb (images)
SciFi Mafia (images)

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