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I Learned Something Today: God of War II

by on February 24, 2012 at 3:59pm

I’ve never thought all that much about death, killing, and self-preservation. Maybe I just haven’t had to; maybe I’ve been sheltered. Stepping into the shoes of the Ghost of Sparta has certainly been an eye-opening experience. There is much to be learned from the guy we all lovingly know as Kratos and God of War II.

The Lessons of God of War II

  1. Kill first, ask questions later.
  2. Be of use to a higher power (…or kill them and take their stuff).
  3. Life is full of death(s).
  4. It’s cool to be an asshole.
God of War II

Kill first, ask questions later

I learned something today. If you find yourself walking around and someone or something approaches, be on guard. It’s likely that it will try to kill you. If you see that hateful look in its eye, or… even if you don’t… just swing away until that thing is dead. Don’t ask questions. It’s better for other things to be dead than you, and it’s best not to take any chances. Thanks, God of War II.

Be of use to a higher power (…or kill them and take their stuff)

murderDeathKill

You have something I want.

I learned something today. I’ve found that the gifts of the gods can come in quite handy. Hell, even cursed blades chained to my wrists have proven to be pretty useful. I can stab you from 10 feet away in less than a second. Other perks include lightning attacks, giant swords, and…well I wouldn’t want to ruin any surprises for you. Also, if you can’t be friends with someone (a god or otherwise) who has something cool to offer, or if they are unwilling to share, just kill them and take it. Be selfish. It’s always better for you to have it than them. Thanks, God of War II.

Life is full of death(s)

I learned something today. How many times must we die in this life? Well I’ve died at least 60 times so far. So…a lot, apparently. I’ve learned, though, that it’s ok. Dying is a part of life. We must embrace it, and know that we’ll just respawn nearby and back in time a bit. For gods’ sake, though, no matter how many times we die, we should never take the easy route! No matter how many times we’re asked if we’d like life to go easy on us, we mustn’t. We shan’t! Thanks, God of War II.

It’s cool to be an asshole

SCOWL

Scowl away.

I learned something today. Being pleasant is for pussies. What you want to do is walk around with the biggest scowl on your face that you can make, slap bitches around, and have total disregard for the well-being of others. THAT is how you earn respect and feel good about yourself. As long as you are alive and well, nothing else matters. That’s what Kratos has taught me, so don’t be afraid to slap a bitch up a bit… or rip their head from their body. As long as it’s beneficial to you, it’s all good. Thanks, God of War II.

Conclusion

If you think there is a chance someone wants to hurt you, kill them. If someone has something you want, kill them. Don’t be afraid to die, but do keep self-preservation as your fist priority. Never take the easy route, no matter what. Don’t pretend to be nice, just be the asshole self that you are. Life is good. Thanks, video games.

I Learned Something Today – Who says that video games can’t teach you life skills? Sure they may get you put in prison or banished from society, but they are skills nonetheless. We take an over-the-top look at some of the potential applications of what video games have taught us.

Sources

Giant Bomb (images)

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