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I Learned Something Today: Dead Space

by on June 15, 2012 at 4:25pm

I have trouble ever being truly comfortable in any situation. That’s why I refuse to ever leave my house, but let’s face it: most accidents and all break-ins happen in the house, so I’m not really safe there, either. It’s all I have, but thankfully I’m a bit better prepared thanks to the lessons of Dead Space.

The Lessons of Dead Space

  1. Be scary right back
  2. Boots are the most important line of defense
  3. Spare no appendage
Dead Space

Be scary right back

I learned something today. You never know when darkness is going to creep in. You could be sitting at home on the couch, quietly enjoying a guilty pleasure TV marathon in the middle of the night when the lights go out. Suddenly, the world completely changes and even your home can feel like a foreign battlefield. That’s why I always keep a full set of body armor close by. Not just any body armor, mind you, but the heaviest and least practical set I could find. I’ve combined the best medieval designs and infused it with the latest technology. I combat the darkness with the glow from my Alien Knight from Hell full armor suit. Nothing can get through it to harm me. It doesn’t matter whether or not I can see it or tell when the lights come back on. At least I’m safe and confident no one will come near me. Even my friends. I am truly alone. But safe. Thanks, Dead Space.

Boots are the most important line of defense.

I learned something today. Boots get a bad reputation in the fashion world. Whether you are labeled as cowboy or a stripper based on one article of clothing, the practicality of a solid boot cannot be understated. If self defense is as common of a concern to you as it is to me, go out and find the heaviest metal boots that you can. Every form of martial arts in the world has its weaknesses and all weapons run out of ammunition or break. When the worst happens and death comes crawling, be confident that you still have the most brutal line of defense at your feet. Just close your eyes and stomp. Your boots can crush anything. A good primal scream never hurt either. Make that mouse’s family think twice about invading your kitchen. Thanks, Dead Space.

Dead Space Boots

These boots were made for crushing.

Spare no appendage

I learned something today. There’s no limit when it comes to protecting yourself, especially in your own home. When I feel threatened, I will do anything until that threat is completely gone. I’ve seen too many movies to trust that anything can be taken down by a single shot. My attackers are sure to be taken apart until no parts can hurt me. That means that any spider I see is going to be in no less than a dozen pieces before I breathe easier and set those pieces on fire just to be sure. Thanks, Dead Space.

Conclusion

Overkill? No such thing or I’d feel safer by now. I will survive, though. Thanks, video games.

I Learned Something Today – Who says that video games can’t teach you life skills? Sure they may get you put in prison or banished from society, but they are skills nonetheless. We take an over-the-top look at some of the potential applications of what video games have taught us.

Source:

Giant Bomb (images)

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