You Are Just Teasing, Teasing Me At This Point

by Justin Lacey on July 22, 2010 at 11:52am

This took me all day to download.

Game trailers are what drew me to the internet. The sneak peeks at upcoming games in all of their slow downloading and pixelated glory. Just seeing any bit of motion was enough for me to know the game is alive. That was enough to satisfy me back in 1996. Since then game trailers are everywhere, and they aren’t just trailers anymore. We’ve got developer interviews, walkthroughs, and the trailers themselves truly rival those of the movie industry. Not only that, but they are in HD and streaming to you instantly. It’s truly amazing when you think about how far we have come.

With that said, can we agree on one thing? Game companies, can you stop wasting my time with your worthless teaser trailers? Why haven’t we moved passed this?

All we need is a press release with a title and an estimated release date if that exists. If your “teaser” isn’t going to show me anything about the gameplay, the game world, the story, the graphics, the anything else other than the name – then you are wasting my time. You’ve gotten my hopes up and let me down before I even know anything about your game. I got all I needed just from the title of the video itself. Hit me up when you have something useful to say.

Madness All Over Again

What really set me off this week was when EA formally announced a sequel for one of my favorite games of all time. The trailer revealed nothing other than the title character and the fact that, “hey, she’s still crazy!” When your game is called Alice: Madness Returns, I don’t need the obvious restated for me multiple times over. This is a game that has been rumored for 5+ years. Hell, a fanmade teaser was made last year – that told me more about a game that doesn’t actually exist. Your fans are thirsty for details about anything to do with a sequel, and all you did was remind us we have to keep waiting. Thanks, dicks.

Oh, I get it.

With all of that off my chest, I give to you my Top 5 Most Annoying Teaser Trailers of the Last Year. Again, all you need to know is in the title of the link. Click-through to be a combination of confused and disappointed. Confuppointed?

#5 – Batman: Arkham Asylum 2
#4 – Alice: Madness Returns
#3 – Codename: Kingdom
#2 – Darkspore
#1 – Mega Man Universe