Don’t Starve Lowers the Incentive for Real Life Chores

I’ve worked from home for the last 8 months and have been playing Don’t Starve off and on for the last 6. Despite spending less time with the latter, I’ve come to find out that I’m way better at completing the tasks set before me in the charming survival simulator than I am with completing tasks on my real life chore list. This is much to the chagrin of my wife as she struggles to understand why collecting sticks, pulling weeds and cooking wholesome food is so much easier in an imaginary world. There are a variety of reasons for this, but seeing as I’m going to have to talk quick or else sleep on the couch for the next few weeks, I’ve narrowed the list down a bit.

This is Survival Bro!

I absolutely understand how important it is to keep a house looking it’s best, both for overall moral, comfort and a number of health benefits. That being said, none of these equate to a life or death struggle. Maybe sweeping more than once a week would make more sense if it was some sort of preventative measure against creepy ghouls or something, but seeing as it’s merely a means of getting rid of cat hair leaves me less than motivated to do so. It’d be different if I could use the cat hair and to craft exciting new items (other than this) but all I end up doing is throwing it away. In harsher conditions, I’d be forced to find clever ways to use everything I find but in modern society it’s just considered hoarding.

But I need all of this stuff!

But I need all of this stuff!

Where’s the Adventure?

In Don’t Starve, I get to wander around a large, magical world filled to the brim with surprises. There are new things to discover around every corner and even the most mundane tasks are made exciting when an unexpected threat suddenly pops up. In real life, I have to walk back and forth between a bunch of rooms I’ve already seen a million times before. I do get to walk outside and go to the grocery store, but the most intense moment I ever had was when I almost got hit by a bus. No mysterious areas, no roving packs of blood thirsty dogs, only sidewalks and pigeons. Don’t get me wrong, Berlin is a great city, but running errands tends to be mainly focused in its less than interesting sectors.

No Loyal Pumpkin/Dog/Chest Hybrid

It's ok, you can put whatever you want inside of me.

It’s ok, you can put whatever you want inside of me.

During my time in Don’t Starve, I came across an adorable little guy named “Chester.” I don’t really know the best way to describe Chester (the title of this section is the closest I can get) but what I do know is that he’s loyal as heck and will carry extra supplies for you in his mouth. Having a companion like this makes hauling items back and forth so much easier as well as cutting through the loneliness of your quest to survive. While I have two cats, they won’t let me stick goodies in their mouths and they don’t really have much of a presence since they sleep and or hide for most of the day. I’d like to think they’re loyal, but someone also told me that cats will eat your body after you die if given the chance. That sounds way more opportunistic than it does loyal.

Food is Way More Exciting When You Have to Catch It

I know people think hunting is really bad, but could these same people honestly say that the thought of catching a live animal and then consuming it’s flesh isn’t a bit exciting? Even if you’re a vegan, I’m sure its way cooler to dig up a potato and eat it rather than just go down to the local grocery and pick up a bag. Where’s the challenge? Everything I eat in Don’t Starve, I work for, which makes me feel like a more accomplished person. It does take a bit of effort to walk down to the grocery store but I know that I won’t have to fight off some sort of beast in order to get a carton of milk. Don’t get me wrong, having to do this sort of thing everyday would really suck, but I’d like to just once take to the natural Earth to get my meal for the day. If I lived in the country, I could just go and get some friends together and shoot some deer. Being that I’m in the middle of a major international city, such activities are frowned upon.

While all of this may be a testament to my inadequacies as a competent domestic partner, I think it speaks more to the engrossing nature of Don’t Starve. That being said, I’m going to need a representative from Klei Entertianment to take one for the team and explain to my wife why my avatar’s room is far cleaner than the one I’m writing this article in. I’m sure she’ll listen to another business professional’s side of things…or at least I hope she will.


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